Friday, July 07, 2006

old people...

Man, i knew old people needed us to take care of them, but i didn't know they needed it THAT much.

I went to a nursing home, we went in hopes of making their lives a little happier. When we 1st reached there, most people were shy, some weren't. I tried talking to some of the old people, but all i could say was, "hello, are you okay?" and they would nod, WAT DO U FRIKKIN SAY TO OLD PEOPLE?!?! I had, and still have no idea what old people talk about...

Most of the old people there didn't talk much, didn't move much, or didn't know anything at all, some were paralyzed, some had Alzheimer, some had Parkinson. I tried to have conversation with some of them, and helped feed a few.

But there is one guy i will probably remember for some time, hes a Malay guy, around 30-40, he was a little ..... retarded, i think he had an accident, but he was okay, he could speak proper English at times, he could sing pretty well for a guy that has some sort of brain damage, and was kinda friendly. The thing i could remember most was when we were leaving, he asked us to come again..... i don't really think that might happen anytime soon, i feel so guilty because i said i would..... poor singing Malay dude....

Also, there was this paralyzed old Chinese man, even though he couldn't move, he had enthusiasm, he had some sort of authority in his voice when he talked to the other old folk, like when the Malay dude was making some noise, the Chinese dude told him to keep quite, and he did...... maybe he was a soldier or something....

There was also this old lady, that cried every time we talked to her, maybe we all remind her of her long lost children..... and there was this guy that had some kind of hole on the side of his head, i think he got shot during the Emergency, he didn't talk much....

But the thing is, i could see the pain, the loneliness, the boredom.... those poor old people, i wish i could help them some way....

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

My Childhood



If u wanna read this, u gotta be prepared to be bored, really bored.

Ready?

You sure??

Well.... here goes................

All i can remember as a kid, is quite a lot, but most of it was quite boring. So in a vain attempt to not forget my childhood, i have bloody written this stupid blog, for me, and anyone desperate enough, to read and remember.

My 1st memory, is when i was staying in my cousin's house, when i was really young (infant). I can remember i stayed there with my maid (Siti), and my cousin's grandad (dead now, didn't really get to know him). i played Lego every single day (how boring is that?). The reason i was staying there, is because my family went to Australia, and thought it would be a bloody waste to bring me, so they left me there, i'm not sure where my cousin's family was at that time, so i have to go and ask my parents.

The second thing i remember, was watching lion king with my cousin and brother (as i said, boring, its for me, not u) but the weird thing about this memory is, i can see us in 3rd person view (is this the right term?) by that i mean i can remember seeing us from the perspective of the roof.... maybe it was a dream, can't bloody make a difference.

The next memory, is on one of my birthdays when i was very young (if this is boring, don't say i didn't bloody warn you) all i can remember about it, was that i got a toy soldier "action figure" (that's what the westerners call it) n also that there were A LOT of people there, my grandparents, many cousins, and stuff, sadly, i don't have anymore parties like that.... (so sad) mostly because i'm so bloody annoying (that's what people say), that every one ran away.. and because my birthday is in the middle of the holidays, and everyone goes overseas (but i suspect its because i'm just annoying, n they don't wanna come, said ain't it).

One thing i can (boring) remember about my past is, that i was usually alone (boring?), with my maid, or with my comp or some plastersin (is that how u spell it?), you know the dough that you use to make little men, and stuff. (boring ain't it?) This is mainly because my parents were out working (not sure about my mom, she doesn't work...), and doing stuff, my brothers and sister were studying already.... my eldest brother, sometimes plays with me, but is usually not there (sleeping), my 2nd brother, for some reason, hates me (annoying ain't I?), or is just pissed off a lot (no difference now...) so he rarely plays with me, my sister, was always in her room, and i rarely see her. 

All i have were my dogs and maid. I liked to pull the hair of one of my dogs, and she would bite me, and i would cry (even dogs think i am annoying, maybe its a talent?).... and my maid is more boring than this blog. Once, i tried to teach her chess, didn't work.

And as i got older, i started going to kindergarten, there are some memories that just stick out, like when i was naughty once in kindergarten, and my teacher forced my to wash off my chop (it was a chop on my hand, i got it because i got all correct for my spelling, i think), and the other thing i remember about kindergarten, was when i once copied maths notes, the other way round, dumb wasn't I?(when i say other way around, i don mean back to front, i mean i wrote the numbers the other way around, not upside down, but left side to side.) And also i can remember the song we sang every week (or maybe day, cant remember) we sang the "Auld Lang Syne" or something like that, go google it. 

And one of the most embarrassing thing i can remember about the kindergarten, was once, i slept in class ( it think, cant really remember what i did) and i got brought to the headmistress, when i saw the cane she had, i straight away started to cry. Damn that was embarrassing. Once other thing in kindergarten was at exam time, at that time, i didn't know what an exam was, so i didn't understand why my friends wouldn't tell me the answer to the hard questions. 

I have faint memory of play time at that kindergarten, we played with water using water bottles, we played with toys (I liked one robot, but it got missing after i played with it once, couldn't find it...) and sometimes we would play in the playground. But for some reason, they wouldn't let me play in the playground after school, it had something to do with my parents, i think, they had to be there (my parents rarely brought me to school, even when i was in kindergarten, i was brought to school by Mrs Lim, later known as the van aunty, she fetched me to school everyday in primary, i stopped riding her van since secondary because it was in walking distance.)

Another thing i can remember was once, one of my friends ran, and fell, and lost 2 of her front teeth, but she was still young, and it was baby teeth, so no damage done, it must have hurt though. Another thing i can remember was fighting with a pair of twins, i can still remember their faces vaguely, but i don't know why we fought. One thing i can remember is of one of my friends getting chicken pox, don't know why i remembered that. One more thing i can remember is when one of my classmates had to go barefoot, because someone vomited on her shoes... and also i remember we had a white dude in our class, for a while, then he kinda disappeared, till we met in primary. The thing i can remember most is our performance, we practiced a performance when we run around in a circle, waving our arms, and making noise like red Indians, and also performing it in some big fancy place.

If you have read till here, you must have problems.

My primary was kinda boring, i played kites, and once my teacher said i was gay for putting my arm over my friend's shoulder, still don't know why she said it. And also remembered knowing someone more annoying than me in standard one, he was one of the teachers' son, moved away around standard 2 or 3 for an unknown reason, the teacher didn't move though. I'm lazy to go "and i remember that", and "another thing i remember is", so I'm going to put them in point form starting from now.

1) In standard one, i was punished for not doing my homework, so i had to go outside and do it, one of my friends from another class walked by, i changed my facial expression so he couldn't recognize me, some kind of dignity i had then........

2) Once i didn't do my homework, and the girl (pretty good looking girl to boot) sitting beside me told the teacher, even though i begged her not to tell, what a good looking ass.....

3) Everyday, i woke up late, went to school, came back, did my homework, and went to sleep, what a depressing n boring childhood.

All i can remember at standard 3 was chasing people a lot, and making stupid paper toys, because class was boring. And making weird friends, though i changed class the next year (my classes were 1A, 2A, 3G, 4F, 5F, 6F) i was in Yoke Nam then. Standard 4, 5, 6 were plenty eventful i played Chinese chess, i annoyed, and i learned, normal memories, I'm too lazy to write down here, anyways, no ones probably gonna read all this... (from top to bottom, boring wasn't it?)

I'll post the rest of my bloody boring n depressing childhood in another post, I'm gonna need a little shut eye.